The way we think is a choice. I'm writing myself a pep talk today (well last week I started, but am getting back to it today) about positive thinking and how perspective can change our self perception. Do you struggle with your mind and drive yourself crazy at times?
I do. Sometimes mental health issues take us beyond the point of reason, to a point where we feel helpless and lost and resigned to riding the downward spiral. I've been there and I'm not talking about that this time. I don't think I have bipolar disorder, not that I'm sure, but from what I've read I don't think I'm that extreme. Still, times like this are scary, and I feel for friends who share this challenge, whatever form or depth it takes. I don't want my struggle to sound bigger than it is, knowing so many people face so much harder challenges, life threatening illness, natural disasters, major losses etc. And please don't think I'm oversimplifying these issues ... I'm just sharing a small glimpse into my recent rollercoaster rides.
The ups are exhilerating, I'm soaring and energetically zinging through the universe doing great things. The world is my oyster. I have so much to offer and can't wait to get into it ... all at once! Balance is out the window, but I can forget that for a while. I brush off suggestions to slow down and can't understand why everyone else is moving at a snail's pace. But as long as I can get on with my quests, that's fine!
My down times are infuriating ... days of being hardly able to get dressed before lunch, don't know what to feed the children. I feel like a homeschool failure. A parenting and marriage failure. I feel sorry for my family, having to put up with me. It's hard to start anything, let alone finish. I try to smile, keep up appearances when I have to, but being awake is stressful. Jobs pile up. Even on 'good' bad days I waste time and get lost in my own world. I'm glad to be alive but wish I was asleep. The Lord and my family are my lights in the distance, encouraging me to step, towards the end of the dark tunnel.
Perhaps contributing to all of this are our recent trials with death, family illness and parenting challenges (which I haven't much written about). And I've been physically unwell and hate to acknowledge that and give it any place in my life. I don't plan to stay sick. Still, at times it's hard to deny, and last week I actually answered honestly when people asked how I was. Winter coughs and sinus left me feeling like I had broken ribs for months (perhaps I did), but that's improving now that Spring is here. My doctor is also investigating the cause of some long term women's problems, and it comes as no surprise my iron levels are low, but we also found my thyroid is out of whack. Though I'm yet to see her to find out what it means, but this new clue gives me hope that I won't need more tests and various cures which sounds worse than the problem. Thyroid problems can cause hormonal problems. I'm reading a book by Sandra Cabot to learn how diet can help.
My advice to myself (and anyone else feeling less than competent and confident at the moment):
* baby steps ... break goals down into small tasks. If I'm not up to making the whole house shine all at once (who ever is?) at least I can clean a window or tidy one shelf.
* momentum ... if I can just start something, before I know it I'm on a roll and have done more than I would have if I'd thought, worried and procrastinated.
* ask for help ... I find this really hard. Like I said I don't want to acknowledge there's a problem. I can ask the Lord, and read the Bible to remind myself He's promised to help me in so many ways. If I tell my husband, mum or friends I'm struggling, that's being humble, honest and genuine, rather than my unkind self-perception that this is weak, burdensome and ugly ... I wouldn't think that of a friend who asked for help, so why judge myself so harshly?
* likewise, accept that I'm not perfect. Not that I won't try and be better. But I will try things even if I risk failure or imperfection.
* write in my journal to figure out what's out of sync ... what, within my control, can I do to fix this imbalance? This time, my reflections have revealed that I need to get organised, redirect my mental energy into a new challenge, and grow up in terms of being disciplined with my housework, home ed. and other responsibilities.
* recognise that I have choices. I can't choose when my hormones or tiredness might try to sabotage my energy or mood, but I CAN choose to eat well, pray, sleep enough and make it a habit to think positively and trust the Lord. I can choose to learn and find ways around my limitations. I can choose to live and love, and to grow through this.
* learn, imagine and dream. Believe that anything is possible. Enjoy life and look forward to heaven.
Today I'm pretty level headed. I accept the highs and lows, though I believe God wants me to be moderate and sober ... for the record, since some of you don't know me, I should say I don't drink, smoke or use any drugs ... unless you count books and an occasional coffee or chocolate or smelling the citrus trees in bloom!
That's it. I'm just sharing part of my journey of trying to live my best life. I know other people struggle too, for a time or throughout their lives. Maybe my openness will help someone.
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
50 word challenge
We have an education savings plan with ASG , and were invited to complete a quick survey then enter a competition to win an iPad. The challenge was:
How do you keep your child engaged in learning (in fifty words or less)?
Prizes are awarded for the most interesting, original or thought-provoking entries.
We were allowed to submit one entry per child. Here are my 50 words per child:
Our son is home educated using diverse approaches tailored to his learning style, abilities, strengths and passions. He is building a strong foundation for lifelong learning through meaningful work, conversations, mentors and inspiring experiences. We actively pursue educational enrichment opportunities within the local home education network, community and the internet.
Miss 5 is learning and thriving in a loving, delight-driven, resource-rich home school. Like a seedling she is intrinsically driven to learn and grow … her slender stalk reaches skyward toward opportunities, branches explore dreams, leaves absorb inspiration as roots sink deeper to face the challenges our precious flower seeks.
I found it a fun writing exercise, even if my simile lead me down the garden path!
How would you answer the question?
Please post your response in my comments ... I can't promise an iPad, but would love to hear your thoughts.
:) Vanessa
P.S. I hope I'm not breaching any copyright rules by sharing the great question ASG posed ... and it's free publicity for them. It's a great way to be prepared, if you think your children might go on to tertiary studies, and the younger they are when you sign up the greater the long term benefits.
P.P.S. I'm not commissioned to say this!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Quiet as a mouse ...
It's been a quiet week at my place. No running, squealing, screaming, shouting, jumping, fighting, wrestling and wiggling. And it was meant to be even quieter!
THE REASON
The kids and I were planning to go away with my Mum, for a few days holiday up the coast at my brother's place. Pete would be working, and coming home to an empty house and lovingly frozen dinners to reheat. (Note: Pete can cook, and often cooks delicious meals, but I thought ready meals would make him feel special while he was missing us)
But Elijah got sick. Well sicker I should say, as we'd all been taking turns with sore throats, aches and pains. Elijah took longer to respond, and clearly still wasn't well enough to travel. Even driving to the Chemist, he was complaining about aches and pains. My week or two of sore throat and head also intensified. With a cough, fever and aching all over, I wasn't fit to be anywhere but home. Our holiday plans were sabotaged.
Jasmine on the other hand, had a bad ear infection a week and a half earlier, but bounced back quickly once she started antibiotics. So whilst we were all laid low Jasi was bouncing around again, fighting fit, looking for action!!
THE ADVENTUROUS ONE
As a result of these circumstances, our little girl went away, on her longest holiday without us, and more significantly, without Elijah. Was she reluctant to go? Were we filled with trepidation and fear at letting her go?
Not a bit!! She helped load Mum's car and couldn't wait to leave. We know Mum and Joe are totally wonderful with our kids, so there was no reason for us to worry ... just to be happy for them, and pray that they travel safely and have a wonderful time.
We did wonder if Jasi would be lost her best buddy Elijah to play with. There was a chance, Pete suggested, she might miss us and cry a bit. Apparently not. She made herself right at home as soon as they arrived, and for the first few days didn't care to interrupt her colouring in or bath to talk to us on the phone.
Last night our Princess finally spoke to us on the phone. She sounded very distant, like she was tolerating our need to hear her voice, as she told us about the places they'd been and the fun they had. I'm sure it was just the rare and unusual experience of talking to Jasmine on the phone, but I wonder what she's feeling.
ANALYSIS
I've never been one to really MISS people, not as a habit anyway. When I moved away from home for Uni, I felt guilty about that, because I was supposed to be home sick. It took me many years to realise I'm just different in that way. I don't think I NEED to be away from people to love and appreciate them ... but when I have that space to breathe, it renews my energy so I can be more devoted. I like seeing people after some time away, and having interesting things to talk about. I deeply love and admire my family - immediate and extended, big and widespread - they are seriously the kindest, loveliest people I know, and I couldn't choose anyone better to be related to. Like normal people, I do have times when I crave to be with certain people, just want to be near them and comfortable in our familiarity. But I don't MISS people who are still alive, it's more like I look forward to seeing them again.
My point is, we all experience relationships and time apart in different ways. I understand and accept Jasmine's hot and cold, detached way of loving me. In contrast to her independence, she also expresses her love and neediness often, in exuberant, subtle and special ways. When Jasi is here (which she almost always is) she is demanding, caring, affectionate and talkative (these words are severe understatements, though people outside our home rarely believe it!) It's a fine line though ... if I listen to her at the wrong moment, or look too long, she'll stomp her foot and huff and puff, as if to say 'leave me alone!' I wonder ... is this, in part, what having a child with autism or aspergers is like?
In a beautiful photo of Jasi and I, framed on the dining room wall, I can actually see this puzzle. I am holding Jasmine, she's about 3 yrs old. I am facing her, about to kiss her cheek; her arms are around me comfortably, but she is looking away, nonchalant and self composed. It's an interesting study of our relationship. That we love each other is clear beyond a doubt, but it's a push and pull kind of balance!
MEANWHILE BACK AT THE RANCH
As for the QUIET home we've had ... it's been good to be able to rest. I'm still not well, but maybe it's just God's way of slowing me down. I hadn't intended to have 'school holidays' as such, like most people currently are, because we had such a disjointed few months. But we've had no choice.
Elijah and I have watched a lot of cartoons and DVDs, he has played contentedly by himself, and with me ... chess, toy soldiers, lego. Elijah spent hours yesterday cutting cardboard and making a little knight, which I helped him fasten with split pins and sticky tape. We went to the movies and saw Toy Story 3, which I thought Jasmine wouldn't like (since she hates noise and is easily scared) ... I was astonished when she told me that she also went to see that movie yesterday!!!!
With Pete we drove up to the beach cliffs to look for whales (and saw one, though it was very distant, so it's lucky we had my Dad's trusty old binoculars). While Elijah played and lay around watching TV, recovering, I sorted out mine and Jasmine's wardrobes (easily finding 8 bags for the Op Shop and one for a friend, and we still have way too much). I organised my notes and games for next week's FBI, all about Patterns in nature, art and maths. I spent a day writing the previous blog post. Read 3 novels. Printed odds and ends for the upcoming term of home schooling. Dreamed about doing so much more housework than the bare minimum I managed. Imagined getting all my papers in order for home ed. registration, but slept instead.
THE REASON
The kids and I were planning to go away with my Mum, for a few days holiday up the coast at my brother's place. Pete would be working, and coming home to an empty house and lovingly frozen dinners to reheat. (Note: Pete can cook, and often cooks delicious meals, but I thought ready meals would make him feel special while he was missing us)
But Elijah got sick. Well sicker I should say, as we'd all been taking turns with sore throats, aches and pains. Elijah took longer to respond, and clearly still wasn't well enough to travel. Even driving to the Chemist, he was complaining about aches and pains. My week or two of sore throat and head also intensified. With a cough, fever and aching all over, I wasn't fit to be anywhere but home. Our holiday plans were sabotaged.
Jasmine on the other hand, had a bad ear infection a week and a half earlier, but bounced back quickly once she started antibiotics. So whilst we were all laid low Jasi was bouncing around again, fighting fit, looking for action!!
THE ADVENTUROUS ONE
As a result of these circumstances, our little girl went away, on her longest holiday without us, and more significantly, without Elijah. Was she reluctant to go? Were we filled with trepidation and fear at letting her go?
Not a bit!! She helped load Mum's car and couldn't wait to leave. We know Mum and Joe are totally wonderful with our kids, so there was no reason for us to worry ... just to be happy for them, and pray that they travel safely and have a wonderful time.
We did wonder if Jasi would be lost her best buddy Elijah to play with. There was a chance, Pete suggested, she might miss us and cry a bit. Apparently not. She made herself right at home as soon as they arrived, and for the first few days didn't care to interrupt her colouring in or bath to talk to us on the phone.
Last night our Princess finally spoke to us on the phone. She sounded very distant, like she was tolerating our need to hear her voice, as she told us about the places they'd been and the fun they had. I'm sure it was just the rare and unusual experience of talking to Jasmine on the phone, but I wonder what she's feeling.
ANALYSIS
I've never been one to really MISS people, not as a habit anyway. When I moved away from home for Uni, I felt guilty about that, because I was supposed to be home sick. It took me many years to realise I'm just different in that way. I don't think I NEED to be away from people to love and appreciate them ... but when I have that space to breathe, it renews my energy so I can be more devoted. I like seeing people after some time away, and having interesting things to talk about. I deeply love and admire my family - immediate and extended, big and widespread - they are seriously the kindest, loveliest people I know, and I couldn't choose anyone better to be related to. Like normal people, I do have times when I crave to be with certain people, just want to be near them and comfortable in our familiarity. But I don't MISS people who are still alive, it's more like I look forward to seeing them again.
My point is, we all experience relationships and time apart in different ways. I understand and accept Jasmine's hot and cold, detached way of loving me. In contrast to her independence, she also expresses her love and neediness often, in exuberant, subtle and special ways. When Jasi is here (which she almost always is) she is demanding, caring, affectionate and talkative (these words are severe understatements, though people outside our home rarely believe it!) It's a fine line though ... if I listen to her at the wrong moment, or look too long, she'll stomp her foot and huff and puff, as if to say 'leave me alone!' I wonder ... is this, in part, what having a child with autism or aspergers is like?
In a beautiful photo of Jasi and I, framed on the dining room wall, I can actually see this puzzle. I am holding Jasmine, she's about 3 yrs old. I am facing her, about to kiss her cheek; her arms are around me comfortably, but she is looking away, nonchalant and self composed. It's an interesting study of our relationship. That we love each other is clear beyond a doubt, but it's a push and pull kind of balance!
MEANWHILE BACK AT THE RANCH
As for the QUIET home we've had ... it's been good to be able to rest. I'm still not well, but maybe it's just God's way of slowing me down. I hadn't intended to have 'school holidays' as such, like most people currently are, because we had such a disjointed few months. But we've had no choice.
Elijah and I have watched a lot of cartoons and DVDs, he has played contentedly by himself, and with me ... chess, toy soldiers, lego. Elijah spent hours yesterday cutting cardboard and making a little knight, which I helped him fasten with split pins and sticky tape. We went to the movies and saw Toy Story 3, which I thought Jasmine wouldn't like (since she hates noise and is easily scared) ... I was astonished when she told me that she also went to see that movie yesterday!!!!
With Pete we drove up to the beach cliffs to look for whales (and saw one, though it was very distant, so it's lucky we had my Dad's trusty old binoculars). While Elijah played and lay around watching TV, recovering, I sorted out mine and Jasmine's wardrobes (easily finding 8 bags for the Op Shop and one for a friend, and we still have way too much). I organised my notes and games for next week's FBI, all about Patterns in nature, art and maths. I spent a day writing the previous blog post. Read 3 novels. Printed odds and ends for the upcoming term of home schooling. Dreamed about doing so much more housework than the bare minimum I managed. Imagined getting all my papers in order for home ed. registration, but slept instead.
HOMECOMING
Today Mum and Jasmine are driving home. We'll meet them at Mum's around dinner time. It'll be lovely to see my little girl again, though I don't have high expectations for our reunion ... Jasi doesn't usually seem pleased to see us when we pick up the kids after sleepovers at Mum's, and clearly wishes they could stay for longer. This time she has stayed away longer, 3 nights ... I wonder if it seemed long enough for her?
I'm sure she'll be glad to see Elijah. There may be tantrums, rejections and silences (directed at us, and especially me). However Jasi acts towards me, I won't hold it against her. She is very much her own SELF, and I admire that. She feels what she feels, and will soon be back to her usual energetic, intelligent, precious and playful self!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Lovely Surprise!
What a lovely surprise to wake up to ... a Beautiful Blogger Award!
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Thank you Subadra, for the award, and the lovely comments you wrote about my blog. I always find something inspiring, useful or amusing to read at your Library of Books, Links and More ... it's an absolute treasure-trove! I have bookmarked many pages to refer to when my children are ready to explore certain topics, and some pages, such as this one about architecture, have helped with my own life-long education.
1) Add a link and note of thanks to the person giving the award.
There are SO many blogs I love reading! Subadra has already nominated a couple of blogs I would also have chosen ... freeplaylife and Magic and Mayhem.
It's my pleasure to send Beautiful Blogger Awards to:
Almost Unschoolers ... always full to overflowing with ideas about science, cooking, craft and everything to do with home ed. This family with 6 kids looks like a wonderful place to grow children!
Do Whatever He Tells You ... I love reading Tricia's blog about her home school journey and faith. I especially appreciate Tricia's informative and insightful posts about Autism Spectrum Disorder, including Aspergers and PDD-NOS. I have several friends whose children have these and other special needs, and am always keen to understand them better, and in doing so, gain ideas about how to cater for the various, unique needs of all children.
Dove's Rest ... Renelle writes from the heart, and shares some funny stories about her children. Dove's Rest is a great source of inspiration and homeschool tips ... Renelle has great taste in resources, and a lovely way of sharing her family's journey into home ed.
Escape Adulthood ... I came across this blog a few months ago, and just love the way Kim and Jason express their vision for a fun, child-like life! They're living their dream, encouraging readers to do the same and providing ideas to help us do it.
Left to their own Devices ... Michelle and I live on opposite sides of the world, but the similarities in our children are sometimes uncanny ... it helps to know someone else is facing similar challenges and triumphs. When I see a new post or comment by M.J., it's like a friend dropping in for a cuppa!
Eclectic Homeschool ... I enjoy reading about the many educational adventures these guys go on ... I especially love their voracious appetite for languages. Their very skillful Captain (aka Mum) guides them skillfully around this big, amazing world!
That seems long enough, but the rules say I have to share 7 things about myself, so I'll try ...
1. When I was a child I thought my ears were too big and stuck out a mile ... but eventually I grew into them!
2. As a child I always got in trouble for reading. In first grade it was because I read the book upside down (it was more interesting that way!) At home it was because it was dinner time, chore time, bed time or social time. Now I'm grown up (kind of) ... and I still get in trouble for reading too much. I'm not addicted though ... I can stop anytime. In fact I did once stop recreational reading, by my own choice, for a whole year, except for reading the Bible.
3. I used to go with Dad on long distance trips when he owned a truck. I loved getting beyond the towns and mountains, out where the road was flat and the only thing on the horizon could be a couple of wheat silos and a single, crooked shed. One of my loveliest memories is sitting on top of a covered load of grain, in a place like that, just quietly watching the sun set.
4. I'm such a perfectionist that I even worry about getting my blog wrong!!!! I know I'm not perfect though, so forgive my imperfect grammar and punctuation, my hybrid of English/ American spelling and superfluous superlatives ;)
5. Both sets of my Grandparents moved to Australia (one set from England, the other from Holland) when they were in their 20's. I love this land surrounded by sea, the shape and size of this continent and especially the colours and contrasts. I especially love places where the bush meets the sea. If you want to see some stunning photos, click here.
6. I've been using Apple Macintosh computers since I finished highschool. My current iMac has a lovely white monitor surround. I don't own an iPod, iPad or iPhone. My mobile phone (which I share with hubby) is a 10 year old Nokia, for which I have the cheapest bills ever!! Usually under $8 a month.
7. Seven happens to be my favourite number. I like it's Biblical meaning (in Bible Numerics, 7 is the number of spiritual perfection, and God's seal). I also like that 7 is odd and a prime number. Interestingly, I was baptised by full immersion on the 7.7.00, after receiving the Holy Spirit (with evidence of speaking in tongues for the first time) on 5.7.00 (five is the number of Grace).
Thanks for reading my blog!!
I won't be offended if award recipients can't follow the Beautiful Blogger rules ... it's nice to "Pay It Forward ", but I think how you do it is up to you!
Thank you Subadra, for the award, and the lovely comments you wrote about my blog. I always find something inspiring, useful or amusing to read at your Library of Books, Links and More ... it's an absolute treasure-trove! I have bookmarked many pages to refer to when my children are ready to explore certain topics, and some pages, such as this one about architecture, have helped with my own life-long education.
------------------------------------------------------
I'll admit I haven't properly participated in blog awards before, being too daunted by the rules. But I'm more familiar with how to do links etc. now, so am ready to give it a go!
The rules state a recipient of the Beautiful Blogger award must:
2) Pass the award on to the bloggers whose blogs you love (15 tops)
3) Share 7 things about yourself
------------------------------------------------
There are SO many blogs I love reading! Subadra has already nominated a couple of blogs I would also have chosen ... freeplaylife and Magic and Mayhem.
It's my pleasure to send Beautiful Blogger Awards to:
Almost Unschoolers ... always full to overflowing with ideas about science, cooking, craft and everything to do with home ed. This family with 6 kids looks like a wonderful place to grow children!
Do Whatever He Tells You ... I love reading Tricia's blog about her home school journey and faith. I especially appreciate Tricia's informative and insightful posts about Autism Spectrum Disorder, including Aspergers and PDD-NOS. I have several friends whose children have these and other special needs, and am always keen to understand them better, and in doing so, gain ideas about how to cater for the various, unique needs of all children.
Dove's Rest ... Renelle writes from the heart, and shares some funny stories about her children. Dove's Rest is a great source of inspiration and homeschool tips ... Renelle has great taste in resources, and a lovely way of sharing her family's journey into home ed.
Escape Adulthood ... I came across this blog a few months ago, and just love the way Kim and Jason express their vision for a fun, child-like life! They're living their dream, encouraging readers to do the same and providing ideas to help us do it.
Left to their own Devices ... Michelle and I live on opposite sides of the world, but the similarities in our children are sometimes uncanny ... it helps to know someone else is facing similar challenges and triumphs. When I see a new post or comment by M.J., it's like a friend dropping in for a cuppa!
Eclectic Homeschool ... I enjoy reading about the many educational adventures these guys go on ... I especially love their voracious appetite for languages. Their very skillful Captain (aka Mum) guides them skillfully around this big, amazing world!
------------------------------------------------------------
That seems long enough, but the rules say I have to share 7 things about myself, so I'll try ...
1. When I was a child I thought my ears were too big and stuck out a mile ... but eventually I grew into them!
2. As a child I always got in trouble for reading. In first grade it was because I read the book upside down (it was more interesting that way!) At home it was because it was dinner time, chore time, bed time or social time. Now I'm grown up (kind of) ... and I still get in trouble for reading too much. I'm not addicted though ... I can stop anytime. In fact I did once stop recreational reading, by my own choice, for a whole year, except for reading the Bible.
3. I used to go with Dad on long distance trips when he owned a truck. I loved getting beyond the towns and mountains, out where the road was flat and the only thing on the horizon could be a couple of wheat silos and a single, crooked shed. One of my loveliest memories is sitting on top of a covered load of grain, in a place like that, just quietly watching the sun set.
4. I'm such a perfectionist that I even worry about getting my blog wrong!!!! I know I'm not perfect though, so forgive my imperfect grammar and punctuation, my hybrid of English/ American spelling and superfluous superlatives ;)
5. Both sets of my Grandparents moved to Australia (one set from England, the other from Holland) when they were in their 20's. I love this land surrounded by sea, the shape and size of this continent and especially the colours and contrasts. I especially love places where the bush meets the sea. If you want to see some stunning photos, click here.
6. I've been using Apple Macintosh computers since I finished highschool. My current iMac has a lovely white monitor surround. I don't own an iPod, iPad or iPhone. My mobile phone (which I share with hubby) is a 10 year old Nokia, for which I have the cheapest bills ever!! Usually under $8 a month.
7. Seven happens to be my favourite number. I like it's Biblical meaning (in Bible Numerics, 7 is the number of spiritual perfection, and God's seal). I also like that 7 is odd and a prime number. Interestingly, I was baptised by full immersion on the 7.7.00, after receiving the Holy Spirit (with evidence of speaking in tongues for the first time) on 5.7.00 (five is the number of Grace).
------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks for reading my blog!!
I won't be offended if award recipients can't follow the Beautiful Blogger rules ... it's nice to "Pay It Forward ", but I think how you do it is up to you!
Monday, July 5, 2010
What Unschooling and Natural Learning mean to me ... Part Two
I really enjoy reading and talking about how other people 'do' home education. We're all curious about how others live their lives without school. Visiting homes, chatting at the park and seeing pictures on blogs is a lot of fun (speaking of which I should post more photos). We share thoughts and ideas about resources, arrangement of spaces and ways of organising things, and help each other learn and solve problems. I've met about 100 home ed. families, visited countless websites and subscribe to about 20 blogs. All are fantastic sources of inspiration. I love the culture of acceptance, generosity and encouragement which I've experienced online and in our local home ed. network. So ... THANKS!!!!
Just to clarify, I'm only writing here about what we're doing, which works for us at the moment. Each family is different and that's the beauty of having our children at home. I admire everyone doing their best, in their own way.
If any of this sounds organised, it's because I'm trying hard to find the consistent points in our very flexible, whimsical, busy life. And even though these posts are long, I bet I'll leave out some really special and important details. So expect a few p.s.'s from me. I'm not claiming to have any particularly original thoughts ... this synthesis is the result of a couple of years reading and talking and living. I'll get on with it then!
Just to clarify, I'm only writing here about what we're doing, which works for us at the moment. Each family is different and that's the beauty of having our children at home. I admire everyone doing their best, in their own way.
If any of this sounds organised, it's because I'm trying hard to find the consistent points in our very flexible, whimsical, busy life. And even though these posts are long, I bet I'll leave out some really special and important details. So expect a few p.s.'s from me. I'm not claiming to have any particularly original thoughts ... this synthesis is the result of a couple of years reading and talking and living. I'll get on with it then!
OUR VERSION OF ECLECTIC, TIDAL HOME EDUCATION ...
- we blend various aspects of Unschooling, Natural Learning, Interest-based, Child-led learning, Unit Studies, Literature and Thematic studies, Traditional school and probably other methods.
- the glue sticking it all together is our faith, relationships and zest for learning and living!
- learning happens all the time, everywhere, in conventional and playful ways.
- lessons learned by experiencing are often the most memorable.
- child-initiated learning and intrinsic motivation are powerful tools to be encouraged and valued.
- we are not limited to a particular curriculum, textbook, grade level or educational approach.
- we unashamedly borrow ideas from diverse education methods, philosophies and theories, to develop a unique blend that pleases and nourishes OUR children.
- there are many valid ways to explore subjects, share ideas and demonstrate skills.
- in our daily journey we share the joy of setting directions and modes of transport.
- the Lord, my husband and myself have God-given roles which aren't open to compromise.
- I'm a facilitator ... doors can be opened by the resources I provide and the experiences I plan.
- kind of like the Doctor's creed, I try to 'first do no harm' (I think it goes something like that).
- kind of like the Doctor's creed, I try to 'first do no harm' (I think it goes something like that).
A FEW MORE POINTS ...
- as a home educator I DO refer to curriculums (many, from all over the world) for ideas and suggestions of what the children might be interested in or need to know. Then I set most of it aside and just let learning happen. I sometimes respect and sometimes ridicule the outcomes and principles of our State and National curriculum. It's more important to me that my children keep their curiosity, have a chance to stretch their minds, and learn diligence and persistence.
- we DO use numerous 'schoolish' resources and ideas, as one of many tools, but I can't think of a program I have used in it's entirety ... I always feel the need to extract, tweak and condense. We skip liberally around grade levels to suit our children's needs and interests. Responses may be written, discussed, dictated or demonstrated in practical ways.
- if I think my children would benefit from improving a particular skill, I find (sometimes fun) ways to steer them in that direction and help them see why it's worth putting in some time and effort. Contrary to the bulk of unschooling theory, I DO at times use coersion, bribery and extrinsic motivators to assist with this. I expect my children to respect my judgement when differences arise, and balance this by aiming to respect my children's readiness, opinions, interests and learning styles.
- our family culture is an invisible but integral part of the learning experience our kids enjoy ... so I guess I'd describe our crew as faithful, playful, caring, energetic, affectionate, talkative, generous, creative, intellectual, busy but relaxed, peaceful but not quiet, sensible but often silly. Pete and I can both be a bit more bossy and authoritative than what I'd like at times. I sometimes get carried away on tangents of being industrious, introspective, distracted and multi-tasking. And I'm usually trying to do a zillion things at once.
These are my honest reflections ... obviously a work in progress. So although I think I've written way too much and I don't know if it makes any sense, I'll send it out into cyberspace.
Part Three, about the specifics of what we actually do, might take longer to compose. Sorry I'm taking so long to get to the practical bits!
- there are many reasons why Pete and I do things the way we do, and Scriptures which guide us when we have to chose between divergent paths. That doesn't mean I think we have all the answers, and I know every choice made has an opportunity cost and there'd be potentially different outcomes if we'd gone the other way. I have to accept the consequences of our choices, keep learning and seek the silver lining in the clouds which sometimes appear.
These are my honest reflections ... obviously a work in progress. So although I think I've written way too much and I don't know if it makes any sense, I'll send it out into cyberspace.
---------------------------------
Part Three, about the specifics of what we actually do, might take longer to compose. Sorry I'm taking so long to get to the practical bits!
Friday, July 2, 2010
What Unschooling and Natural Learning mean to me ... Part One
I've noticed these are terms which elicit strong emotions. Many people haven't heard of either, but ask for a brief explanation (which I am NOT good at providing) or discuss it over a period of time. Depending on their personal understanding, experience and the people they've met, reactions vary widely and I've seen family, friends and strangers dismayed, awestruck, horrified, intrigued, quick to judge, interested, worried, skeptical, undecided, curious, relieved ...
One possible reason for people's strong opinions is that (in my short experience) there IS no absolute definition of Unschooling or Natural Learning. There is much written about these philosophies, and excellent books and websites with support, tips and terminology. But the extent to which it is applied varies a lot. Even the principles behind it are elusive, and by their very nature these methods are open to interpretation and individualised implementation. And THAT is what I have found so confusing, yet also comforting.
I could call us eclectic tidal lifelong learners, but eclectic home schoolers is easier. I'm not a Natural Learning or Unschooling purist, but it is an important part of the big picture of learning for us. Here are some WONDERFUL articles about N.L. and U.S. on blogs I read regularly and find inspiring:
FreePlayLife
Eclectic Homeschooling
An Unschooling Life
LibraryofBookLinksAndMore
Almost Unschoolers
(NOTE: I have other favourite blogs too, so forgive me if I've left you out!! I'm sure some of you have related posts and I spent ages sifting, but ran out of time before I found them. If you've written an article about what Unschooling and Natural Learning mean to YOU please put a link to it in the comments!)
These people have tried to explain what Unschooling and Natural Learning mean to them, and I've been encouraged by their example, seeing how they exercise their freedom of choice, to persist in finding my own way of home schooling, without pressure to use the labels in the same way as anyone else ... unless I want to :)
In the past two years I kept trying, but feeling it was impossible and futile, to define my home education philosophy. I'm not 'there' yet, but am glad to say I've learned a lot along the way and have gained a little more confidence. Amongst the many lessons learned, I've realised:
* Our homeschool will be whatever we need it to be, in order to reach the goals we (as a family and individuals) are working towards. Flexibility is one of the reasons we home educate, and we're free to change our methods to adapt to emerging interests, embrace opportunities and go with the flow of our life.
* Other people's opinions DO matter to me. Not in a weak, submissive way, but as part of the way I relate to people and view society. I'm capable of standing up for what I believe is right. Being able to articulate WHAT we do, WHY and HOW, in a concise way, is something I will probably continue to strive for, whether it's possible or not.
* I can't please everyone (and even if I wanted to it would be impossible), but I'm responsible for the choices I make on behalf of my children. I believe I'm accountable to God, my family, the government and to some extent, fellow home educators. I can explain why I reached this conclusion, but won't get into it now. It's a big responsibility to raise children and influence their perception and place in the world.
In Part Two, I'll share what Natural Learning and Unschooling mean TO ME, and how they fit into the big picture of my education philosophy.
I may even write Part Three, which would be an example of how it all pans out during a typical week.
Please leave a comment. I'd love to hear people's thoughts about this!
One possible reason for people's strong opinions is that (in my short experience) there IS no absolute definition of Unschooling or Natural Learning. There is much written about these philosophies, and excellent books and websites with support, tips and terminology. But the extent to which it is applied varies a lot. Even the principles behind it are elusive, and by their very nature these methods are open to interpretation and individualised implementation. And THAT is what I have found so confusing, yet also comforting.
I could call us eclectic tidal lifelong learners, but eclectic home schoolers is easier. I'm not a Natural Learning or Unschooling purist, but it is an important part of the big picture of learning for us. Here are some WONDERFUL articles about N.L. and U.S. on blogs I read regularly and find inspiring:
FreePlayLife
Eclectic Homeschooling
An Unschooling Life
LibraryofBookLinksAndMore
Almost Unschoolers
(NOTE: I have other favourite blogs too, so forgive me if I've left you out!! I'm sure some of you have related posts and I spent ages sifting, but ran out of time before I found them. If you've written an article about what Unschooling and Natural Learning mean to YOU please put a link to it in the comments!)
These people have tried to explain what Unschooling and Natural Learning mean to them, and I've been encouraged by their example, seeing how they exercise their freedom of choice, to persist in finding my own way of home schooling, without pressure to use the labels in the same way as anyone else ... unless I want to :)
In the past two years I kept trying, but feeling it was impossible and futile, to define my home education philosophy. I'm not 'there' yet, but am glad to say I've learned a lot along the way and have gained a little more confidence. Amongst the many lessons learned, I've realised:
* Our homeschool will be whatever we need it to be, in order to reach the goals we (as a family and individuals) are working towards. Flexibility is one of the reasons we home educate, and we're free to change our methods to adapt to emerging interests, embrace opportunities and go with the flow of our life.
* Other people's opinions DO matter to me. Not in a weak, submissive way, but as part of the way I relate to people and view society. I'm capable of standing up for what I believe is right. Being able to articulate WHAT we do, WHY and HOW, in a concise way, is something I will probably continue to strive for, whether it's possible or not.
* I can't please everyone (and even if I wanted to it would be impossible), but I'm responsible for the choices I make on behalf of my children. I believe I'm accountable to God, my family, the government and to some extent, fellow home educators. I can explain why I reached this conclusion, but won't get into it now. It's a big responsibility to raise children and influence their perception and place in the world.
-------------------------------------------
In Part Two, I'll share what Natural Learning and Unschooling mean TO ME, and how they fit into the big picture of my education philosophy.
I may even write Part Three, which would be an example of how it all pans out during a typical week.
Please leave a comment. I'd love to hear people's thoughts about this!
On my mind ...
I finally have snippets of time to gather my thoughts, write articles and finish a few drafted posts which have been cooking for a while. Hopefully something I write will inspire, help or amuse someone!
Some of the things I'm thinking about:
• Collating my jumbled records and plans for our upcoming Home Ed registration interview. I'm sorting out my ideas and paperwork on everything to do with it ... why, how, what etc. Loving the choices and freedom I have, and enjoying getting organised, but nervous about getting it right (note to self: there is no RIGHT!) My biggest battle is to keep it simple instead of doing mountains of unnecessary work!
• Health, mostly mine, which is mostly fine. I've finally seen a doctor after putting it off for ages. I had an ECG which was clear, as expected. There is something odd about my heart which showed up, but it's not dangerous or the cause of recent chest pain. A personal issue was discussed, but it's not life threatening and having read about the tests, treatments and undesirable side effects, we are committing it solely to prayer. And I'm considering doing a simplified elimination diet. I know I'm dairy intolerant, but cutting that and other known irritants from my diet hasn't fixed everything. On the up side, I'm glad my problems now are only physical, and also pretty minor compared to many people.
• Stuff. School stuff, clothing, linen, books, mending, hobbies, digital photos. I do pretty well at keeping down the clutter, but it's a battle. Our belongings need a bit of attention and sorting. Now that I have time I'm industriously sifting, storing and Op Shop bagging.
• Home, study, job and travel choices. We're blessed to have choices at all, and sometimes wonderful possibilities, but it can be hard to decide what to do when, and how the finances will all work out. As always, we simply need to trust in the Lord for provision and direction, and it will all work out for the best.
• Computer time. I've been researching a few things online and my eyes haven't coped well. My seldom-worn glasses are more of a hindrance than a help, so I guess it's time for another eye test. I also worry that I might spend too much time on here, and ought to be productive in other ways. Finding a balance is tricky sometimes. What do you do??
• Personality types. I read another couple of books and confirmed I am an INTJ. Introverted, iNtuitive, Thinking, Judging. Depending on the book I may be called a Logical Visionary, Scientist, Strategist, Rational Mastermind, Perfectionist. It all sounds pretty fancy and la-di-dah, but really they're all just words and I'm just ME. Out of curiosity I did find an online INTJ discussion group, but as fun as it is to meet like-minded people (we're rare, just 2-3% of the population), it's not high on my list of priorities.
• PLUS cooking for a fussy eater, sewing, home education philosophies, science topics, kids toys, book ideas, keeping warm, mindful parenting, cleaning, art projects, upcoming holidays ...
Whew! That's enough babble from me. It's more of a diary entry I suppose but somehow these thoughts jumped onto a blog page today. Perhaps it'll help you get to know me better!
Some of the things I'm thinking about:
• Collating my jumbled records and plans for our upcoming Home Ed registration interview. I'm sorting out my ideas and paperwork on everything to do with it ... why, how, what etc. Loving the choices and freedom I have, and enjoying getting organised, but nervous about getting it right (note to self: there is no RIGHT!) My biggest battle is to keep it simple instead of doing mountains of unnecessary work!
• Health, mostly mine, which is mostly fine. I've finally seen a doctor after putting it off for ages. I had an ECG which was clear, as expected. There is something odd about my heart which showed up, but it's not dangerous or the cause of recent chest pain. A personal issue was discussed, but it's not life threatening and having read about the tests, treatments and undesirable side effects, we are committing it solely to prayer. And I'm considering doing a simplified elimination diet. I know I'm dairy intolerant, but cutting that and other known irritants from my diet hasn't fixed everything. On the up side, I'm glad my problems now are only physical, and also pretty minor compared to many people.
• Stuff. School stuff, clothing, linen, books, mending, hobbies, digital photos. I do pretty well at keeping down the clutter, but it's a battle. Our belongings need a bit of attention and sorting. Now that I have time I'm industriously sifting, storing and Op Shop bagging.
• Home, study, job and travel choices. We're blessed to have choices at all, and sometimes wonderful possibilities, but it can be hard to decide what to do when, and how the finances will all work out. As always, we simply need to trust in the Lord for provision and direction, and it will all work out for the best.
• Computer time. I've been researching a few things online and my eyes haven't coped well. My seldom-worn glasses are more of a hindrance than a help, so I guess it's time for another eye test. I also worry that I might spend too much time on here, and ought to be productive in other ways. Finding a balance is tricky sometimes. What do you do??
• Personality types. I read another couple of books and confirmed I am an INTJ. Introverted, iNtuitive, Thinking, Judging. Depending on the book I may be called a Logical Visionary, Scientist, Strategist, Rational Mastermind, Perfectionist. It all sounds pretty fancy and la-di-dah, but really they're all just words and I'm just ME. Out of curiosity I did find an online INTJ discussion group, but as fun as it is to meet like-minded people (we're rare, just 2-3% of the population), it's not high on my list of priorities.
• PLUS cooking for a fussy eater, sewing, home education philosophies, science topics, kids toys, book ideas, keeping warm, mindful parenting, cleaning, art projects, upcoming holidays ...
Whew! That's enough babble from me. It's more of a diary entry I suppose but somehow these thoughts jumped onto a blog page today. Perhaps it'll help you get to know me better!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Getting back into writing?
I read Kez's post about getting back into writing this morning ... I think it's awesome! And inspiring. Go for it Kez!!
I hope I don't sound like a copy-cat, but I might soon be doing the same ... I haven't said much about the 'writer' part of myself in this blog. Mostly because I haven't been writing for the last few years (unless you count home school forums, blogs and emails). There's some negotiating and stock-taking to be done, but the momentum is building.
For the record, I stopped writing because:
1. It took too much of my time and attention away from my family. They were jealous and probably had every right to be. I needed to get back to basics and be a good mum and wife first.
2. I started to question myself about the 'what' and 'why' of writing, and couldn't answer my questions well enough to justify continuing. I was stuck on the "all is vanity" soundtrack, and didn't want to waste the time God had given me.
3. Life was fast and frantic at home with two toddlers, Pete returning to work (after being a full-time dad) and starting our home-schooling journey.
4. I chickened out. I had a publisher accept a proposal for some short stories (for an education series), but I froze because I was scared I wouldn't do a good enough job. I pulled out rather than risk failing.
5. I had a lot of writing projects in progress at once, and couldn't decide which ones to develop and which ones to set aside.
I'm determined not to think myself into a hole over all of this. But I think I might have moved on to a healthier frame of mind since then. I'm ready to take myself less seriously and have fun with it.
For the record, I stopped writing because:
1. It took too much of my time and attention away from my family. They were jealous and probably had every right to be. I needed to get back to basics and be a good mum and wife first.
2. I started to question myself about the 'what' and 'why' of writing, and couldn't answer my questions well enough to justify continuing. I was stuck on the "all is vanity" soundtrack, and didn't want to waste the time God had given me.
3. Life was fast and frantic at home with two toddlers, Pete returning to work (after being a full-time dad) and starting our home-schooling journey.
4. I chickened out. I had a publisher accept a proposal for some short stories (for an education series), but I froze because I was scared I wouldn't do a good enough job. I pulled out rather than risk failing.
5. I had a lot of writing projects in progress at once, and couldn't decide which ones to develop and which ones to set aside.
I'm determined not to think myself into a hole over all of this. But I think I might have moved on to a healthier frame of mind since then. I'm ready to take myself less seriously and have fun with it.
So all things considered, maybe I'm ready to jump back into the inkpot, and take stock of where I got to. I have a shelf full of drafts, plot plans, and rejection letters. Some of my stories were good training ground and are better left unfinished. But I'm hoping there may be a few projects with potential in amongst the mess!
While I'm at it I have some things to share. A few years ago I wrote some articles about WRITING.
Some of them were published in writer's magazines, e-zines or newsletters. But that's long ago and there's no point in them gathering cyber-dust if they can be of use to someone. I'll post the first article today. If you have any friends who write, feel free to send them a link.
Some of them were published in writer's magazines, e-zines or newsletters. But that's long ago and there's no point in them gathering cyber-dust if they can be of use to someone. I'll post the first article today. If you have any friends who write, feel free to send them a link.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Comparing the incomparable
The backstory:
Last week we went to the Powerhouse Museum in Sydney. There are so many exhibits for the kids to interact with, so of course it's a fun place to go. But I was stuck in a black cloud. Pretty rare these days, but we were all out of sorts for a week after eating chocolate for a week! For starters, I couldn't decide what to wear, because it had been raining so my jeans would drag in the puddles and I'd be wet all day. Like it was the end of the world! So then I was also ashamed of being so ... human? Luckily Pete had enough patience for both of us, and with some prayer I was strong enough to soldier on, so we eventually all got in the car and set out for our adventure. The kids had fun.
I survived the day and most importantly of all (just kidding) I have since bought some rainy-day jeans which don't drag in puddles. Thankfully, I also found my sense of humour and smile again!
The journey:
I'm not actually comparing the incomparable ... I just liked the way that sounded. It's really just me rambling!
So back to the drive through Sydney. I'm not a city person ... I feel sorry for all those rushing, striving people (even though I know lots of them probably love it)! But I'm always curious, intrigued and a little over-awed when I see big boarding schools, like Knox, Kings and Abbotsleigh. I have often thought, hypothetically, about being a teacher or student there, comparing it to my small-town, public school experience. This time when we drove past the private schools, I was imagining what it would be like to send our kids, our precious little darlings, there. Into the big brick abyss. I may as well have been looking for a rental home in an African zoo! I just couldn't imagine it for us, nor begin to comprehend how people do it.
Now, I know that many people have no choice (at least none that they can see). And that many others see these places as the ultimate educational environment for their children. I also know the many virtues these schools claim for their attendees ... I have taught in one (though thankfully it was an old-fashioned country one, but still poles apart from my humble, happy childhood). Tradition, social graces, academic excellence, sports, diverse subjects ... there is a lot of opportunity for children to have amazing experiences, find their talents and excel in every way, reach their potential and conquer the world. And many do!!
But imagining MY kids there? I couldn't form a mental picture of it. These schools are so BIG, so SCHEDULED and PRESCRIBED.
Elite, private schools are not even the point really ... if I WAS enrolling my kids in school, it would have to be a small, family-like one, which probably doesn't exist yet, except perhaps in Finland or Sweden (a long commute from our island home, Australia).
The conclusion:
Perhaps it's a forgone conclusion, and of course it's not a revelation or lightning bolt moment. My kids belong with me and other people who know and love them ... at home, in the park, library, rockpools, on a riverbank or in the bush. I don't mind if they're missing the opportunities offered by public or private school education ... they're too busy living to care (!) and I have complete confidence they will one day know who they are and reach whatever goals they set. I love the freedom we've chosen. We explore overgrown paths, follow rabbit trails and marvel at shooting stars. We learn wonderful and fascinating things about the world, ourselves and all kinds of subjects. Not in the sequential, orderly way that schools often choose. It's noisy, random and messy.
I'm not trying to be definitive or comprehensive ... just thinking aloud. Here are some of the educational values I find important:
* Inspire, challenge, trust, share
* Provide a rich and varied diet for kids to taste and feast on
* Children are people, individuals, the future, becoming who they are
* Balance freedom and boundaries, always with love and respect
* Time is a gift, not to be wasted or hurried
* Nurture creativity, live in colour, discover rainbows
* My children are explorers, but can ask for directions any time they like
I don't pretend to have all the answers. We're not perfect. I'm not claiming these values are unique to home ed, that all school is bad or all home ed is good. I'm just reflecting, and I'm really thankful for our freedom.
Last week we went to the Powerhouse Museum in Sydney. There are so many exhibits for the kids to interact with, so of course it's a fun place to go. But I was stuck in a black cloud. Pretty rare these days, but we were all out of sorts for a week after eating chocolate for a week! For starters, I couldn't decide what to wear, because it had been raining so my jeans would drag in the puddles and I'd be wet all day. Like it was the end of the world! So then I was also ashamed of being so ... human? Luckily Pete had enough patience for both of us, and with some prayer I was strong enough to soldier on, so we eventually all got in the car and set out for our adventure. The kids had fun.
I survived the day and most importantly of all (just kidding) I have since bought some rainy-day jeans which don't drag in puddles. Thankfully, I also found my sense of humour and smile again!
The journey:
I'm not actually comparing the incomparable ... I just liked the way that sounded. It's really just me rambling!
So back to the drive through Sydney. I'm not a city person ... I feel sorry for all those rushing, striving people (even though I know lots of them probably love it)! But I'm always curious, intrigued and a little over-awed when I see big boarding schools, like Knox, Kings and Abbotsleigh. I have often thought, hypothetically, about being a teacher or student there, comparing it to my small-town, public school experience. This time when we drove past the private schools, I was imagining what it would be like to send our kids, our precious little darlings, there. Into the big brick abyss. I may as well have been looking for a rental home in an African zoo! I just couldn't imagine it for us, nor begin to comprehend how people do it.
Now, I know that many people have no choice (at least none that they can see). And that many others see these places as the ultimate educational environment for their children. I also know the many virtues these schools claim for their attendees ... I have taught in one (though thankfully it was an old-fashioned country one, but still poles apart from my humble, happy childhood). Tradition, social graces, academic excellence, sports, diverse subjects ... there is a lot of opportunity for children to have amazing experiences, find their talents and excel in every way, reach their potential and conquer the world. And many do!!
But imagining MY kids there? I couldn't form a mental picture of it. These schools are so BIG, so SCHEDULED and PRESCRIBED.
Elite, private schools are not even the point really ... if I WAS enrolling my kids in school, it would have to be a small, family-like one, which probably doesn't exist yet, except perhaps in Finland or Sweden (a long commute from our island home, Australia).
The conclusion:
Perhaps it's a forgone conclusion, and of course it's not a revelation or lightning bolt moment. My kids belong with me and other people who know and love them ... at home, in the park, library, rockpools, on a riverbank or in the bush. I don't mind if they're missing the opportunities offered by public or private school education ... they're too busy living to care (!) and I have complete confidence they will one day know who they are and reach whatever goals they set. I love the freedom we've chosen. We explore overgrown paths, follow rabbit trails and marvel at shooting stars. We learn wonderful and fascinating things about the world, ourselves and all kinds of subjects. Not in the sequential, orderly way that schools often choose. It's noisy, random and messy.
I'm not trying to be definitive or comprehensive ... just thinking aloud. Here are some of the educational values I find important:
* Inspire, challenge, trust, share
* Provide a rich and varied diet for kids to taste and feast on
* Children are people, individuals, the future, becoming who they are
* Balance freedom and boundaries, always with love and respect
* Time is a gift, not to be wasted or hurried
* Nurture creativity, live in colour, discover rainbows
* My children are explorers, but can ask for directions any time they like
I don't pretend to have all the answers. We're not perfect. I'm not claiming these values are unique to home ed, that all school is bad or all home ed is good. I'm just reflecting, and I'm really thankful for our freedom.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Intense motherhood
A while ago this was shared on one of the blogs I read regularly (I'm sorry I've forgotten which one):
Motherhood photo essay
I love playing with words but I'm glad someone else has expressed in pictures, music and words what is so hard to articulate ... fierce, selfless love for our children.
I hope you enjoy it!
Vanessa
Motherhood photo essay
I love playing with words but I'm glad someone else has expressed in pictures, music and words what is so hard to articulate ... fierce, selfless love for our children.
I hope you enjoy it!
Vanessa
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Hopes and dreams
Sometimes what's in our hearts seems too precious to share, but I'm going to anyway. I started writing this a few weeks ago and forgot to post it ... but it's still relevant.
My goals, hopes and dreams for 2010:
My goals, hopes and dreams for 2010:
* keep my passion for the Lord, praying and reading the Bible daily.
* be the best wife, mum and home-maker I can be.
* diversify my cooking skills and continue to provide healthy, tasty food.
* inspire and support my children in their education and experiences.
* be more humble, frugal, energetic and organised.
* support my husband in choosing a direction for his future study and work.
* together pursue our desire to serve the Lord whilst traveling.
Both children have suddenly taken up boogie boarding, after a few visits to beaches with very small waves, and we're all now hopelessly addicted to catching waves!
Making sense and moving ahead
It's hard to write when I'm stuck, and I've had myself in knots trying to put our particular way of homeschooling into words. Kind of like writer's block, but more like life block ... I wanted everything to be easily defined before I made decisions about what to commit to this year, especially in activities for Miss 4 and Mr 5, as kids (mine at least) need lots of time to just BE kids, play and relax at home. Plenty of things happen each week, without deliberately overscheduling.
I decided my main problem is that everything I've read about HOME EDUCATION is SO GOOD!
The reason this is a problem is that you can't do everything. Even just picking my favourite aspects of each philosophy was too much to think about for a while. For a while, the abundance of possibilities in shaping our home school stopped me appreciating all the success we've already had.
AT LAST I'm ready to decide! It's better for us to do something positive, which we are comfortable with, than be paralysed by indecision and worry about loyalty to any method in particular. I've always tended towards respecting my students, giving choices, showing possibilities and making interesting resources available, so I'm already using what I consider to be the best bits of Natural Learning.
So once again we're "Christian Eclectic Tidal Homeschoolers" ... a messy label but one I'm comfortable with. As always we'll have scriptures, prayer, and share lots of books. We'll be back into phonics, copy work, fun reading and maths, but more delight-based than adhering to any program. I believe any resource we use should serve not enslave us. With some fun unit studies and following our interests in everything else, and some natural learning principles woven throughout, I know my kids will learn all they need for this year ... as children have a tendency to do!
I'll keep you posted about how it's going ...
I've been trying to reconcile my views on everything I've learned about homeschooling so far. I love many aspects of Natural Learning, some Charlotte Mason ideas, Thomas Jefferson Education, Unit Studies and some Traditional Ed done creatively. Training up my children in the Lord is the most important. When I was praying about it, one message I heard was "don't hang onto GOOD things which are holding you back from BETTER things."
The reason this is a problem is that you can't do everything. Even just picking my favourite aspects of each philosophy was too much to think about for a while. For a while, the abundance of possibilities in shaping our home school stopped me appreciating all the success we've already had.
AT LAST I'm ready to decide! It's better for us to do something positive, which we are comfortable with, than be paralysed by indecision and worry about loyalty to any method in particular. I've always tended towards respecting my students, giving choices, showing possibilities and making interesting resources available, so I'm already using what I consider to be the best bits of Natural Learning.
So once again we're "Christian Eclectic Tidal Homeschoolers" ... a messy label but one I'm comfortable with. As always we'll have scriptures, prayer, and share lots of books. We'll be back into phonics, copy work, fun reading and maths, but more delight-based than adhering to any program. I believe any resource we use should serve not enslave us. With some fun unit studies and following our interests in everything else, and some natural learning principles woven throughout, I know my kids will learn all they need for this year ... as children have a tendency to do!
I'll keep you posted about how it's going ...
Monday, January 18, 2010
A few truths about me ...
I've thought much about the concept of 'authentic self' over the past year or two. Who are we really? How much are we willing to share? When I read that other people are thinking about this too, I felt challenged to respond to the topic, as raised on two blogs I regularly read and thoroughly enjoy:
When it comes to what we share on our blogs, I guess we reveal different aspects of ourselves within different groups ... both essentially true, but with a different emphasis. Like various coloured lights will reveal different features of an artwork. I don't have many readers, but I appreciate the ones I do have, and am glad to be getting to know you too. Some are homeschoolers, some teachers, family and friends, visitors, of many lifestyles and personalities. As many writers probably do, I still deliberate each post, wondering what people will think.
In my blog I'm trying to let my true self come through louder than the part that could just write what people want to hear. Afterall, I started a blog as a way to make sense of MY thoughts and ideas, and to share MY world. Of course it's a work in progress, and I'm still figuring out what I think about many things and how they all fit together. Some of us are more self-critical and introspective than others. Some people don't 'get' that, but that's also partly to do with personality types, and it's ok. Whilst I hope to inspire others, I don't want to be a watered down version of myself ... so I guess I'll be writing what's on my heart, and you can do the deleting and diluting!
Here are a few things you might not know about me yet:
* Recently I've spent too much time reading blogs and 'how-to' homeschool/ unschool books and sites (too much in terms of what I'm conditioned to think is acceptable, not compared to my desire or interest : ) ). Whilst I know I need to have my own interests and do my own learning, perhaps I'll limit the online aspect of this ... anyway, I'm keen to reclaim some time for painting and writing. Kids are also a good way of keeping me 'in the real world'!!
* I've made a choice to not visit the library at all this month, and maybe next if necessary, and to toss junk mail in the recycling bin without reading it. Why? One reason is similar to Kez's ... being content with my life, self and home ... not being dictated to by society and the media about what I need or what I should be like. My other reason is something I don't talk about much, but as we're being honest ... I really want to be more influenced by the Lord than by anyone or anything in this world (including well-meaning, lovely books, which have their place, but for me can be more of a selfish overindulgence at times)!
* Speaking of faith ... it means MUCH more to me than I've really expressed on here. I want to share my testimony without forcing it on anyone. So if you want to read about my faith, miracles and healings, please read my next post!
* I love having a clean and tidy house. I get stressed out when surrounded by mess. BUT my home is lived in, some days our home gets more attention than others, and the job is never fully done in my eyes (that would mean repainting, having carpets cleaned, windows washed etc ...). I LOVE surprise visits from my Mum, but might be embarrassed by mess with other guests. I also like making a mess, and we have a ton of fun here. Luckily I like cleaning!! And I always have some kind of home improvement project on the go (at the moment it's hanging photos and prints on several bare walls ... something I've been too indecisive to do, but I'm just jumping in now!)
* I can't give a short answer to any question ... did you notice? Especially "what's your favourite colour, food, book, place etc.?" I CAN answer with lists or essays!
* I still care what other people think. Not obsessively, as I used to, but enough to make myself question most of my choices, in terms of caring about the opinions of people I respect. I know right now my dear husband will be thinking, "Uh oh, she's lost in cyberspace again!" or something like that. Mostly I stick to computer work when he's at work, which isn't now, so I'd better go. So I can't relax and write 10 more points. Lucky you!
* I always find time to read one more chapter, write one more thought or change my clothes once more before I head out the door.
Thanks for visiting my space,
Bye for now!
* Speaking of faith ... it means MUCH more to me than I've really expressed on here. I want to share my testimony without forcing it on anyone. So if you want to read about my faith, miracles and healings, please read my next post!
* I love having a clean and tidy house. I get stressed out when surrounded by mess. BUT my home is lived in, some days our home gets more attention than others, and the job is never fully done in my eyes (that would mean repainting, having carpets cleaned, windows washed etc ...). I LOVE surprise visits from my Mum, but might be embarrassed by mess with other guests. I also like making a mess, and we have a ton of fun here. Luckily I like cleaning!! And I always have some kind of home improvement project on the go (at the moment it's hanging photos and prints on several bare walls ... something I've been too indecisive to do, but I'm just jumping in now!)
* I can't give a short answer to any question ... did you notice? Especially "what's your favourite colour, food, book, place etc.?" I CAN answer with lists or essays!
* I still care what other people think. Not obsessively, as I used to, but enough to make myself question most of my choices, in terms of caring about the opinions of people I respect. I know right now my dear husband will be thinking, "Uh oh, she's lost in cyberspace again!" or something like that. Mostly I stick to computer work when he's at work, which isn't now, so I'd better go. So I can't relax and write 10 more points. Lucky you!
* I always find time to read one more chapter, write one more thought or change my clothes once more before I head out the door.
Thanks for visiting my space,
Bye for now!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Inspiration
I seem to be easily inspired ... there's always something on my mind making me daydream. This is a long post, very personal, with a little task for you at the end. At the moment I'm inspired by:
* Attempting to grow some of our own food. So far we have 7 productive citrus trees, 3 baskets of cherry tomatoes, 1 strawberry plant and some accidental mint. It's a small start, but I'm trying to take good care of the plants and learn what they need, so hopefully they'll live long enough to feed us! I'm endlessly inspired by http://urbanhomestead.org/journal/ which shows me endless possibilities for our small yard, and my friend Karen at http://ourlifelearningjourney.blogspot.com/who is also starting from scratch, though somewhat more zealously!
* Eradicating the excessive ant population from my garden. I'm not proud of this goal (I feel sorry for the ants being evicted or killed), but there's the truth. If I'm to succeed in gardening there have to be less biting bugs!
* Finding my own eclectic balance in the home education and unschooling continuum. I like the ideas at http://sandradodd.com/strewing. I also like http://melissawiley.com/blog/2007/11/16/the-tidal-homeschooling-master-list/ and http://www.nheri.org/NHERI-Research.html. There are so many choices and I'm always finding new ideas, but my main aim is to keep tailoring our home school to my children, enjoy my own ongoing education, encourage and serve others, love life and be led by God.
* My children. Their spontaneous expression and improvisation in music, dance and song, the stories they tell as they are playing cars, dolls, family and animal role play, shops, chefs and cafes, Bible heroes, kings and princesses.
* Watching less TV and not missing it. We only get NBN and ABC1, having not spent money on a decent aerial or set top box, and have cut down from very little to next to nothing. Over the years I find more shows boring, annoying or immoral. Not that I'm perfect, but I want to dwell on nice things, not crime shows. Not to mention the ads shown even as we watch the weather at 6:50pm, having to quickly turn it off if the kids are in the room. Shows we sometimes enjoy are Landline, The Secret Millionaire, The New Inventors.
* Having the Bible to guide my choices in books, movies, music etc. Philippians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.* Continuing to consciously raise our children the best way we can. I don't want to raise them in a bubble, and there are plenty of instances where I'll let them take risks and learn from their mistakes. I'm happy to discuss their choices and debate issues with them (as a firm believer that 4 and 5 year olds are quite capable of intelligent discussion). But I also think it's my responsibility to protect them from too-early exposure to excessive evil in the media, shops, books etc. http://www.kf2bk.com/help.htm goes some way towards the action we would like to see much more of, in relation to a wider movement of protecting children in general.
* Living with less ... I love filling bags with excess clothing, toys etc for the op shop. But no matter how much I give away we still seem to have much more than we need. As evidenced by the next point ...
* Organising what we do have ... it's an ongoing challenge to keep our books, art supplies and other 'stuff' in such a way that it is tidy, readily accessible but not in the way. We have 4 sets of shelves lining the garage walls, where things (like sports gear, paints, floor puzzles or sewing gear) are packed in boxes ready to grab as needed. A pantry cupboard in the garage houses my teaching resources, future workbooks and books the kids are not quite ready for. Another in the sunroom has stationery, worksheets, readers, maths manipulatives, games, flashcards, puzzles and more. An open shelf holds work boxes, textbooks, textas, frequently used craft supplies, whiteboards, art scrapbooks, and the CD player. More board games and toys are stashed in the linen press, kids rooms and TV unit. Then there's the main bookshelf, with sections for fiction, non-fiction and teacher resources. And the kids each have a shelf in their rooms with their personal favourites. Yikes!
* Cooking. I really love baking desserts, cakes, slices, pancakes and cookies, but then they need to be eaten. Uh oh. So the kids and I do that as a treat sometimes, especially when we have the opportunity to take them somewhere to share. I also like cooking stir fries with rice or noodles, pasta bake, homemade pizza and cutting up fruit platters. I'm not so familiar but getting braver with roasts, casseroles, soups, pies and pastries. It's all fun. I try to keep it a bit healthy, and limit the sugar and artificial additives. We go through a ton of fruit each week, but need to eat more veges and always wish we used even less pre-packaged food.
* Cleaning. It's never finished, and it's a living home, but I feel happier when the house is reasonably tidy, the bathroom cleaned, washing done and floor vacuumed. We need to repaint some walls, and I'm usually behind in window cleaning. I positively dream about the next day when I'll have my carpets professionally cleaned (it would've been this month if we hadn't come home to a dead hot water system, finally replaced yesterday for over $1000!)
* Aboriginal heritage ... we've discovered there may be some, a few generations ago in my husband's family tree, but it's proving hard to access all the records to confirm it. I wish it was in my blood! I've always loved learning about Aboriginal land, culture, art and so on, and feel a real affinity, but my grandparents quite certainly come from Holland, England and Germany. I don't envy the myriad problems our Indigenous people are experiencing, and hope the future sees a lot of improvement. This is a fascinating story unfolding.
If you're still reading, congratulations on your stamina! I can get carried away. There's plenty of other things I'm excited about ... outreaching, charities, travel, art, books and more, but I'm sure you've heard enough about me for one day. Why not drop me a list or blog link of what you're inspired by this year?
Monday, December 14, 2009
Our Christmas
We were so absorbed living our lives around Christmas, I didn't get to write about it then. But the highlights included:
Getting together with my family - At Mum's place the day culminated in a game of slip-n-slide on the new lino in the sunroom. One of the guys would push one of the kids, who would zoom to the other end of the room. Great fun! Miss 4 is thrilled with her 1/8 size violin, and Mr 5 loved his new excavator (pictured digging bike jumps at his Nanna's) ...
... we had Christmas dinner at my Dad's place, where Mr 5 learned to BBQ and stayed up very late to talk to a cousin in China, via Skype. We missed a Christmas gathering here, but will get together with my husbands family soon, for a kid's pool party and play day (there are lots of cousins on this side).
Christmas Camp - each year our church has camps in several places around Australia. We went to Bateman's Bay and had a week of fun, fellowship and ministry. Our aim was to focus on spiritual things, not the food, accommodation, or bugs. All of those things were great though (I loved the lack of bugs), and we heard inspiring talks and lots of testimonies of what the Lord's done in people's lives. We met many new, lovely people, and caught up with friends we haven't seen for a long time. It was fantastic for the kids, as we had the whole conference centre for our group, and could see the playing field and trampoline from the common rooms and cabins.
So they had a lot of freedom at camp, as well as frequent walks to the beach. Paradise!
Being together - it was so good having Pete on holidays, and all of us living in one room for a week. We really miss having him home now that he's back at work. In the week before Christmas we worked like crazy to finish the homemade gifts (dolls house and backyard road signs ... yes finally some pics!)
There's so much more to say, but that's a taste of what I've enjoyed. We really just feel so thankful to God and blessed in the life we share, and in the hope we have for the future. To express it all is too hard for words, but we appreciate it every single day.
Hope everyone is well, and having happy days!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Life without school
At the time of year when my friends are taking their children to orientation days, buying uniforms and savouring their last home days, I'm glad we're not on that roller coaster. Wondering which school to enrol in (and when ... what age should they start school?) Hoping they make nice friends and get the best teacher in the world! With my sky-high expectations it would be a miracle to find a perfect fit, and I hate the idea that even the best situation would be a compromise (after all, it's still school). We might have our share of wonderful days, but there'd be inevitable disappointments. Do I sound paranoid, idealistic or pessimistic? Perhaps I am. I know it's possible we'd have to send the kids to school one day, we can't predict the future, but I'm so glad that for now, it's not part of the equation!
I'm not claiming the life we can give our children will be perfect, just by avoiding school. Home schooling (or unschooling, as I'm loving right now) doesn't exempt them from life's trials, but it does give them space and time to deal with things in a loving environment. In a way I am unashamedly sheltering them. I'm also freeing them to spend their time as they wish and become who they are. I believe they will grow into more secure teens and adults as a result. They won't come to accept nastiness and bullying as the norm, they'll have friends but can choose when to be with them.
Despite all the freedom we've enjoyed lately, school is all around us and the kids are well aware of it. They sometimes play schools (as I did as a child). Miss 4 says she's starting Kindergarten next year, and I told her she is lucky because she can choose her own school uniform, or choose none at all. She wants a rainbow coloured school uniform. She can have it! With all the money we're not spending on some drab costume, I'll take her shopping one day to choose a few pretty dresses which she can wear anytime she likes.
The thing Mr 5 is most proud of this year is that he has taught himself to play the guitar. We have no talent ourselves, except a willingness to experiment, so it's not genetic. By his request he's had no lessons. He just persistently strums and plucks and voila, out comes a really nice sound. It's pretty inspiring.
I'm delighted because the kids are truly best friends, and have learned mostly to get along happily with each other. They talk about and practice team work and cooperation, and are learning to communicate respectfully when they need time apart. In case that sounds too perfect, be assured they still have plenty of conflict and occasional childish violence.
Lately I've deliberately neglected subject based learning in favour of letting them loose with experiences, experiments, construction, creativity and nature. This may seem unusual to people who've known me a long time, and think of me as a planner, organiser, teacher, record keeper, rule follower ... however people are busy in their own lives, and I haven't had to try and express the massive philosophical change that's been taking place inside me.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Natural Learning ... our day so far
Lots of accidental, incidental learning is taking place here today. Here's a summary of our day with some of the hidden learning interpreted, but mostly just jotted down on the run!
At breakfast, the kids talked a lot about Peter Pan and Tinkerbell, making up stories as usual. Miss 4 told us a big secret ... under our house is only dirt! Shock horror! Not secret passages leading to Neverland, as Mr 5 likes to tell us.
We watched Bindi the Jungle Girl on ABC 1. It was an episode about whales. Sparked lots of discussion (kids have something to say about everything!) Sesame Street is back, and the kids said they don't like it but watched anyway while I had a shower. Mr 5 went around talking about "the triangle of destiny" and the ____ (everything) of destiny. Dah da dahhhh (insert dramatic music)! He declared today triangle day, which had obvious implications for the toasted sandwiches we had later : >
Miss 4 got dressed (a big production of choosing) while Mr 5 played with cars. Mr 5 is still not dressed, but today it doesn't matter. I reminded him to brush his teeth (the rest of us just do it, because it feels better).
I set up a colourful title page in a Word document, then typed like MAD while Mr 5 told me stories about Neverland. I learned that a mere mum has NO chance of keeping up with an exuberant child, but I tried and did't kis sto mudh (didn't miss too much). The bonus was when I showed Mr 5 the mishmash of shorthand I'd produced, I got to tell him about editing and fixing spelling mistakes. He was highly entertained by the abbreviations and nonsense words I had to translate back into his real words. We ended up with 4 pages after 15 minutes! We'll probably end up with a novel ... this came about because I decided that, after a year of telling me about his night time adventures (he apparently flies to Neverland when we're all asleep, and each day tells us about his adventures with Peter Pan, Tinkerbell, the Lost Boys etc.), it'd be fun to record some of his tales as a keepsake of his childhood imagination.
Miss 4 was trying to inject her side of the story, but I asked her to wait for her turn. I couldn't transcribe a dialogue! We switched on the TV again for Behind the News (tick human society, world issues, environment etc.) then I let Mr 5 watch Peter Pan (did you guess it's his favourite movie?) Usually they wait until mid afternoon, but it's a rainy day and I wanted time to answer emails. After a while Miss 4 was bored with the movie, so she and I did some finger painting, rubbing wet fingers on dry paint disks rather than setting up the messy stuff. It was still plenty of fun despite the easier clean up!
I wrote an essay in response to a friend's question about chores (I like writing, and as I'm currently not working on books, emails and blogging are a good outlet for all those words ... poor, patient friends!) Then I spent a bit of time thinking ... why am I not writing books?
I used to write a lot (I have between 20 and 50 unfinished stories) but stalled a couple of years ago when I wondered "What's the point? There are already so many." I couldn't waste my time without knowing WHY (despite the fact I waste time reading, doing number and word puzzles ... in which case just relaxing and exercising my brain are good enough reasons. Dodgy logic?) Then I thought, what's the point of blogging? Self expression, encouragement, inspiring, informing ...? These are also good reasons to write books (I write picture books and children's novels). There's the minor factor (ha ha) that I'm with little kids for most of my waking hours, so it's hard to get a run on anything. But maybe I'll give it another go.
While I made lunch Mr 5 looked at a book about racing cars and led a detailed discussion about their relative sizes (tick the box next to 'measurement' vocabulary). Then the kids moved on to playing shops (handbags for sale today, tick 'money'). Next time I looked they were playing vets or doctors. An invisible character, Invisible King, and his servants (Miss 4 and Mr 5) played in the lounge room. The servants had to rescue slaves from the cruel king, who made them work all day with no food or drink (no psychological interpretations please, my kids are well fed and respected citizens). The kids wrestled, played hide and seek and smelled the rain. How do they cram so much fun into one day???
P. called to say he may have to work back tonight. This means I won't have the car to get Miss 4 to ballet this afternoon. She asked me not to call a taxi, as she's SOOO tired. The truth is she loves dancing at home but finds her ballet class boring, and won't be going back next year. At this stage she'll be 'sadly unable to make it today' (see her grin?)
Now it's 2:30pm, the kids are packing up the handbag shop while I scramble to finish this enough to publish ( I declared it a race, them tidying versus me typing) ... I wonder what we'll do next? Miss 4 wants to do Reading Eggs on the computer, and Mr 5 wants to do boxing. I hope he'll settle for cricket instead!
P.S. I've won the race. I wanted the kids to win, as the clean room was the prize I really desired. But the kids have gone crazy and plastic coins are all over the sunroom. Wish I had some chocolate to award myself as a consolation prize!
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